agonization v. 2.0

it's the hour beyond

the next minute of our thought

the second we realize

how a feeling is subjective

to life

one can never know love

without letting it slip through their fingers

like sand of the sea

it's wasted, gone forever

time spent foolishly

it could have been right

but it was wrong

and now it's lost, never known

unable to come to it's full

never realized

waiting for that right moment

the one that must have gone by

a thousand times

but it wasn't quite perfect

the moment was ripe, ready for harvest

yet imperfection was found

and time waited till goodbye

those awful lingering unsaid words

filling the mind with agony

and that empty ocean breeze with cold

who ever knew a scene could break a heart?

some things soothe

and others ignite

bursts of pain - they burn for weeks

like an aching wound it never goes away

constantly reminding him of his waste

and how he never did right by her

now his unsurety is his downfall

and his naivety his torment

it all pokes and prods

a hundred years with one thought

one which never fades, never lessens, never dies

and leaves it's prey wanting more

held at fault for naught (desire of the best never had) -v. 2.0

time and time again he paid

for that beyond his control

he lost it all

and gained it back after the fact

but it was too late

for him to ever be right

his curse haunted day and night

till he became lost again

one hundred years of hell

seemed not long enough

but one burning thought filled his mind

the only memory of his torment

became the one thing he had betrayed

beyond grasp,

and within arms encircled

an empty whole inside

never filled

and the temptation given

seems to be that it can't get worse

but why does life seem to break it,

and never give back the chance?

it's all too easy

to need an end

and yet for reasons unknown now

one will never realize it.

why is it

that all around me

people fall, die, and waste,

the ones i've known, and some loved;

i'm numbed, wondering why

seemingly goodbye

yet not

it affects us all -

we don't always realize

that fact until it's gone.

how deeply it stings,

how it provokes the soul

making us wonder why

and what if it was I,

oh, if it was I...

youth is such a rush

full of life and all

we waste it moment by moment

never choosing to believe

that it could so soon end

for us, that reality escapes

the very essence of our thought

there are those who sell for cheap change,

willing to sell a soul for the next meal

believing there is no help

and their existence is their own

no one cares, not a thought is there

from others whom live out life

in years and lifetimes

not day by day,

hour by hour.

why can't we realize

that there is a beyond?

getting caught up in the rush is not all

life is more than just a story

and we all need more than ourselves

if there is to be hope at all

it's looking past the pretty dresses,

beyond the first thought,

and into the second and third,

right down to the very last

and beyond that all.

it's needing some time

to figure things out -

a midnight drive,

a sunset beach alone.

life is too short to ignore

how much there is to do

it's knowing what you believe

and learning how to love

sharing with another

and experiencing more

than you could ever dream

and going beyond desire